


as long as we’re going down (baby, you should stick around)

by mihael_jeevas



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-06 10:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihael_jeevas/pseuds/mihael_jeevas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is in jail when the world ends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as long as we’re going down (baby, you should stick around)

**Author's Note:**

> (written for the prompt, 'ayurnamat, the philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed.')

Levi is in jail when the world ends.

It’s not his fault, not really. One day he’s loitering on a street corner, business as usual, and then it all changes. Suddenly he’s getting shoved down onto his stomach in a rotten alley by some blonde asshole while another blonde asshole stands in front of him, leering.

“Stop struggling,” Blonde Asshole Number Two says.

Levi glares at him. “I’ll stop struggling when your boy here stops kicking me around like a goddamn hackeysack.”

“Can you blame him? There isn’t a lot of sympathy for cop killers.”

“I didn’t kill anyone.”

“I believe you.”

“Erwin--” Blonde Asshole Number One starts.

“I’m trying to help you,” Erwin adds, as if his companion never opened his mouth. “Just tell me who you’re covering for.”

He makes the colossal mistake of kneeling to meet Levi’s eyes, and Levi doesn’t miss the chance to spit in his face. “Fuck yourself,” Levi hisses. The guy behind him drives his boot into Levi’s back, but Erwin doesn’t even flinch. He simply wipes his face with the back of his hand and orders for Levi to be taken away.

The night before his trial, screaming floods the halls, and Levi startles awake. Someone is standing in front his cell, fumbling with a set of keys. In the dark, he can just barely make out Erwin’s form. “What the fuck do you want?”

“Get up,” Erwin says. “And get ready.”

“For what?” The metal of the cell door creaks as Erwin pries it open and steps inside. “Hey, for what?” Erwin doesn’t reply, not with words. Instead he shoves something cold and hard into Levi’s hands. A gun, Levi recognizes, mind still sluggish. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” Erwin says. “Fuck, I don’t know.”

The lights flicker back on, and in the harsh brightness Erwin’s face is twisted--in anger or fear or both, Levi can’t tell. Whatever it is, seeing the normally composed man shaken makes him sick.

“Come on, we don’t have a lot of time.” Erwin ducks out of the cell, and Levi has no choice but to follow him.

He expects a robbery gone wrong, maybe a terrorist. What he doesn’t expect is a hoard of shrieking undead. “Huh,” he says, taking in the blood-crusted bodies and wide, dead eyes. “Just when you think you’ve seen everything.”

Erwin cocks his gun. “Talk less, shoot more.”

Levi snorts. “Whatever you say, officer,” he says, and pulls the trigger.

*

They escape by the skin of their teeth. Levi twists his ankle the wrong way, and leans on Erwin as they flee the station. He sits in the backseat of one of the patrol vehicles snarking about “upstanding Officer Smith committing vehicular theft” while Erwin fills the trunk with guns and ammo and tells Levi to shut up.

“Why not just leave me behind?” Levi asks; the question bothers him more than he’d like.

Erwin pauses, fingers clenching around the straps of an over-stuffed dufflebag. “Because I can’t,” he says, and that’s that.

The town is a shithole. Erwin tells him a containment plan was put into place, which is really just a nice way of saying that they’ve been left to die. The needs of the many outweigh the lives of the few, or what the fuck ever.

“So, what happened to your partner? The one who shoved my face in the mud?”

Erwin’s hands tighten on the steering wheel. He says nothing.

“Oh,” Levi says. He has to turn away from the look on Erwin’s face, guilt heavy in his chest. “Sorry.”

“Thank you.” Erwin’s voice is strained, but heartfelt.

There are no more words between them. Levi falls asleep.

*

Erwin is pulling into a 7-Eleven just as Levi wakes up. It’s empty and the lights are off, but it doesn’t appear to have been broken into just yet. Erwin parks in front of a gas pump, turns the car off, and hands the keys to Levi.

Levi looks at his palm in disbelief. “How do you know I’m not going to steal it?”

“I don’t,” Erwin says, adding, “fill the tank,” before grabbing his gun and climbing out of the car. The idea of following a cop’s orders make Levi ill, but dying doesn’t exactly give him the warm fuzzies, either. So he leans on the edge of the car, watching as Erwin rummages around grabbing non-perishables. To his amusement, Erwin actually leaves a twenty dollar bill on the counter, and he’s back in the car before Levi can feel terribly anxious about being exposed.

Once they’re on the road again, Erwin is all business. “We should stick together, at least for now. It’d be unwise to try and travel alone.”

“‘Unwise?’” Levi repeats, smirking. “Do you always talk like that? Can’t you just say ‘fucking dumb’ like the rest of the human population?”

Erwin rolls his eyes. “Once we find a settlement, you’re free to do whatever you want.”

“Don’t worry about me; I don’t plan on palling around with pigs anymore than I have to.”

“Fantastic.”

“Isn’t it just.”

And that’s the end of the conversation.

The hours drag on. Erwin fiddles with the radio, Levi fidgets in his seat, and they don’t stop bitching at each other until Erwin is so distracted he nearly drives into a -- a thing. Levi doesn’t know what they are, what to call them. Whatever it is, it’s mad as hell, throwing its wounded body on the hood over and over again until it appears to tire itself out. Erwin seizes the opportunity and stomps on the gas, running the creature over and not looking back. That puts an end to the bickering.

(For now, at least)

*

Time starts to lose its flow. It feels like a lifetime has passed since everything went away, and yet it feels like just yesterday Levi was lying on a thin cot in a cold cell. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been on the road. Long enough, at least, for Erwin to develop a truly terrible beard Levi takes every given chance to insult.

“You’re not going to get over this anytime soon, are you?” Erwin asks, sounding exasperated.

Levi grins. “Not a chance.”

They take turns driving, one behind the wheel while the other sleeps. Levi’s a night person, content to cruise in the dark while Erwin passes out in the passenger seat. Sometimes Levi watches him, takes in the rise and fall of his chest and the wrinkles around his eyes. Erwin looks older, tired, and something in Levi’s stomach coils.

He focuses back on the road

*

“Do you have any idea where we’re going?”

They’re parked by the lake one sunrise, though Levi has no idea which one or even what state they’re in anymore. He had taken a sideroad during the night because the highways are becoming too dangerous, and Levi’s not stupid enough to think that driving a cop car through a horde of armed and desperate people is a good idea.  

Erwin sits up, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. “No,” he admits, voice hoarse.

Levi sighs; he had expected as much, but somehow the answer doesn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. Erwin has an odd way of softening things, of providing a comfort that isn’t actually there. Perhaps he’s just an exceptionally good liar. Whatever the case, Levi’s grateful for it, a fact he shows by throwing a plastic box at Erwin’s head.

Blearily, Erwin opens it. “You brought me breakfast in bed. Oh, honey, you shouldn’t have.”

“You know how I like to spoil you,” Levi replies flatly, before scoffing at what’s in Erwin’s hand. “A cop eating a donut. How cliche.”

Erwin continues chewing, though he takes a moment to flip Levi off, and the man can’t help but grin. Maybe he’s warming up to Erwin Smith, just a bit.

*

“Warming up” to Erwin somehow leads to “watching Erwin obsessively when he’s not looking,” then to “eyefucking Erwin and not caring if Erwin is looking,” then “thinking about Erwin sucking his cock and jerking off during watch while Erwin is asleep two feet away.” It’s distracting and infuriating, because Levi’s always hated cops. But Erwin isn’t just any cop, and it’s getting harder to pretend that he is.

Levi begins to compile everything he knows about Erwin, which, considering their situation, is surprisingly little. He knows Erwin has a sweet tooth and a dry sense of humor, that he’s a restless sleeper and he hates not being able to shave. Once, while Erwin is asleep, Levi picks his pocket and flips through his wallet, looking for any evidence of the life Erwin led before. Aside from some credit cards and a truly unfortunate license photo, there’s nothing. Eventually, it gets to the point where he’s baiting Erwin, goading him into revealing things about himself. That’s how he learned Erwin was never married (though he’s still sore about a woman named Marie), that his father died when he was young, and he was number one in his graduating class at the police academy. Erwin tells him about his partner, the one who tossed Levi around like a ragdoll. He was named Mike, a good man who’d stood at Erwin’s side for years. He had died for Erwin, thrown himself in front of his friend and had his throat torn out for his selflessness.

“What about you?” Erwin asks one day, when they’re perched on the trunk of the car with lukewarm beers in their hands.

Levi stills. “What _about_ me?”

“Did you have any family, friends?”

He thinks of Isabel’s laugh, Farlan’s hand on his shoulder. “No,” Levi says bitterly. “I have nothing.”

(He doesn’t miss the look of pity Erwin shoots him. Pity and something akin to longing.)

*

Everything boils over one day during a supply run. It’s a simple operation, a neat hit and run on a convenience store.  It’s nothing they haven’t done a dozen times before, to the point where it’s become routine. That, Erwin tells him later on, is exactly the kind of thinking that nearly costs them their heads. _You let your guard down_ , Erwin says, _and you’re dead_.

Erwin heads in first, eyes sharp as knives, with Levi trailing faithfully behind him. They work quickly and quietly, piling the few remaining canned goods and some stray water bottles into worn sacks. Levi eyes Erwin in the grimy darkness, catching glimpses of his tense expression through a haze of dust, and unease creeps in his stomach. No doubt Erwin’s having the same thought as him: they’re not the first ones here. This place isn’t untouched, which makes it dangerous.

Seconds after he realizes it, pain cracks through Levi’s ribs. He falls to the ground, vaguely aware of Erwin calling his name, but focuses on the rotten jaws currently snapping inches away from his face. He’s never been this close to them before, never had the chance to smell the sickeningly sweet scent of their decomposing flesh or look into the clouded, lifeless yellow of their eyes. Instinct tells him to put his hands up and protect his face, but experience works to minimize the risk of being bitten. Jerking, he’s able to use his weight to throw the creature off, ignoring the wet slap of its body as it hits the ground. Without thinking, he runs for the exit, not realizing until he’s nearly at the door that Erwin isn’t behind him.

Icy panic grips his chest at the thought of becoming one of those things, but it’s nothing compared to the fear of losing Erwin to them. He doesn’t have to tell his body to move, relies instead on the strength of his legs and the taste of warm beers on his tongue.

“What are you doing?” Erwin snaps, catching sight of Levi across the dairy aisle. There are three surrounding him, and Levi can tell by the useless clicking of Erwin’s gun he’s out of ammo. “Just keep going!”

“Are you _high_?” Levi hisses. Fury overtakes whatever fear he’s feeling, and he charges into the herd without hesitation. “I’m not leaving you here!”

Erwin opens his mouth to argue, but Levi grabs him by the wrist and runs for it. Beneath his fingers Erwin’s pulse is erratic, the heavy thrumming of it the only sound Levi can hear until they’re back in the safety of the car.

Levi drives mindlessly, breathing harshly and not daring to speak. Once they’re in the clear, he jerks the car to the side of the road and throws it in park.

Erwin wastes no time in being a noisy, morally upstanding asshole. “Why didn’t you just--”

He doesn’t let Erwin finish. He’s too angry, too pissed at himself and pissed at Erwin, too. He’s furious that he’s afraid, that somehow he’s in this world with this man he cares for far too much. He should hate Erwin, but he just doesn’t. Instead he reaches out and takes Erwin’s face between his hands to feel that he’s warm, that he’s whole, that he’s alive and safe where Levi can reach him.  And just like that he’s kissing him for all he’s worth, sliding into Erwin’s lap like he belongs there, because why the fuck not, really?

Levi has a single hysterical moment to consider the irony of fucking a cop in a fucking cop car before he’s coming in his pants. His eyes are on the blood smeared across the car’s windows, nails digging in Erwin’s shoulders, and though there are corpses shuffling all around them all he can hear is the sound of Erwin panting in his ear.  Somehow, in the middle of the apocalypse, Levi’s never felt so alive.

*

Hours later, they build a small fire together in silence. Neither of them are exactly the chatty type, but exhaustion, confusion, and a touch of heartsickness leave Levi even quieter than usual. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t even look at Erwin as he scrubs the sticky mess of blood and come from their clothes.

Meanwhile, Erwin can’t stop staring at him. It’s annoying and awkward and makes Levi feel warm all over in ways that have nothing to do with the fire. “We should probably talk about this,” Erwin says finally.

“What’s there to talk about?” Levi grimaces, scrubs harder at his pants and refuses to look Erwin in the eye. “It was a thing, it happened. Does it really change anything?”

“No,” Erwin answers after a long pause. “I guess it doesn’t.”

The weird thing is, it really doesn’t. They still take turns driving and bitching at each other, and Levi keeps insulting the beards Erwin continues to reluctantly grow. If Levi didn’t know any better, he would think the afternoon outside the convenience store never happened.

But every once in a while, there’s a reminder. Sometimes Erwin wakes him up before it’s truly night and they watch the sunset together. Other times Levi pulls over in the middle of the night just to hear Erwin’s soft breathing. Once Levi goes down on Erwin after a hearty breakfast of dry Frosted Flakes and ends up storming off after Erwin makes a spectacularly awful pun about public indecency. The sad fact of the matter is that there’s not really the time or safety to do much more than the occasional handjob. Levi thinks about it, what it’d be like if they were still normal people in a normal world trying to form some sort of normal relationship. He knows it doesn’t matter, that in another lifetime he and Erwin wouldn’t even _know_ each other, let alone fuck each other. But it nags at him, the idea of making some sort of stupid, easy life together where the biggest problem is one of them forgetting to pick up the milk on the way home from work.

At first, it’s just at night, when he’s alone and has no Erwin to bounce off of. But the more time they spend on the road, the more the thoughts grow.

It doesn’t help that Erwin’s a perceptive bastard. There are times when he looks at Levi, and Levi thinks he just _knows_. Or maybe he’s thinking the same thing, which--is worse, somehow.

“What are you thinking about?” Erwin asks one day. They’re pulled over on the side of the road while Erwin pops the hood and tries (and fails, honestly) to find the cause of their latest breakdown. The car is becoming improbable. It’s nearly impossible to find gas, and parts are starting to rust and break.

Levi stands next to him, gun loaded and eyes keen. “How badly you need to brush your teeth.” It’s partially true, at least. Neither one of them has washed in nearly a week, and the smell of them in the car is starting to make Levi sick. Mercifully, Erwin doesn’t call his bluff, merely smirks and turns his attention back to the car.

“Nothing,” Erwin says eventually, closing the hood as quietly as possible. “We’re going to have to keep going on foot.”

Well, that solves the car smell, at least.

They’re maybe fifteen in minutes into the woods when Levi loses his footing--or, more appropriately, when his footing is literally yanked out from beneath his feet.  One moment he’s solid on the ground and the next he’s hanging from a tree, peering at a trio of strangers through diamond-shaped holes. “What the _fuck_ ,” he snarls, flailing around in the net like a fish out of water. “What the _actual fuck_.”

“Holy shit, he’s alive!” One of the strangers says, a young man, while a redhaired girl adds, “Uh, we come in peace?”

“All evidence to the contrary,” Erwin says carefully. “Who are you?”

“Oh!” The third, a brunette, places a hand to their chest. “Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Hanji, Hanji Zoe, and this is Petra Ral and Auruo Boussard. We have a compound a couple of miles north if you need a place to stay.”

“Why don’t you cut my partner down and we’ll talk?”

Petra and Auruo look to Hanji, who nods, before Petra steps forward to cut the trap’s rope. Levi tumbles to the ground gracelessly, saved only by Erwin’s quick reflexes. It stings his pride, landing in Erwin’s arms like a blushing bride, but it’s better than the hit his skull would have taken courtesy of the forest floor.

“Sorry about that,” Petra says with a sheepish smile.

Levi scowls, but says nothing as he brushes off his shoulders.

“You all right?” Erwin asks quietly.

“More or less. What exactly were you guys hunting?”

“Snappers, obviously,” Auruo answers.

Levi raises an eyebrow. “That’s what you call them?”

“You’re capturing them? Not just killing them?” Erwin questions.

“We’re studying them,” Hanji cuts in. “We want to understand them. It’s the only way to stop them.”

“That’s ambitious.”

“We’ve always got room for more people. You need a safe spot and we need more hands to help out. It’d work out for both of us. What do you think?”

Levi frowns. “I think we don’t have a lot of options. And I think I need to take a shit.”

“Well?” Hanji asks brightly.

“We’re in,” Erwin says, and winces as Hanji cheers.

“Here’s hoping we don’t die before we get a shot at clean water,” Levi mutters, ignoring the way both Petra and Auruo glare at him.

*

They take a weathered Jeep back to Hanji’s compound. The set-up is decent enough; it’s large, but well-armored, and the makeshift town is neatly organized and bustling with life. It’s eerie to be surrounded by people again after months of solitude, especially considering Levi was never terribly social to begin with. He stays close by Erwin’s side, preferring to watch rather than make conversation.

As they walk the grounds, Hanji fills Levi and Erwin in on some of the residents. Before the outbreak, Hanji was an epidemiologist with the CDC while Petra and Auruo were in the same squad in the Airborne. There were others, Petra says quietly, and when her face hardens both men know not to press.

“Who is that?” Levi looks at where Erwin is pointing. It’s a boy in a blue hospital gown, flanked by a solemn blonde boy and a girl watching them both fiercely. Surrounding them are walls of plastic and members of Hanji’s teams in hazmat suits. Though the teens are thin, pale, and exhausted, they’re intact and relatively healthy.

“Ah, that’s Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. They’re a family we found almost two months back.”

“Why are they quarantined?” Erwin asks.

“Eren was bitten. We really only need to monitor him, but the kids refuse to leave his side, so they stay in there, too.”

“Why is he still alive?” Levi asks. Mentally, he kicks himself; the question was reflexive, a natural progression from living in a world torn between death and the undead.

“Because Eren was bitten twenty-three days ago. And he hasn’t shown any signs of infection since then.”

“That’s impossible,” Levi says.

“No, it isn’t,” Hanji cuts in. “For every pandemic we’ve seen, there’s always been at least one person immune to it. Diseases adapt, and so do hosts. If Eren really is immune…”

“It means a cure could be possible,” Erwin finishes.

“It’s way too soon to get our hopes up, but it’s something.”

As they’re both mentally chewing over the prospect of salvation, Hanji takes them towards an old bank that’s been converted into a town hall.  They take a clipboard off their desk and hand it to Levi. “We have a roster of everyone in the compound so we can keep track of any changes in population--births, deaths, disappearances, etc. You said you guys were from around here? Maybe you want to take a look and see if you know anyone?" **  
**

“What do the colors mean?"

“Oh, yellow is for people who have left the camp, and red is for, y’know…”

“Snapper food,” Levi finishes flatly as he flips through the pages.

“See anyone on there you know?” Erwin asks, tone purposefully neutral.

The names ‘Church’ and ‘Magnolia’ stare up at Levi, blotted out with red ink. “No,” he lies, handing the list to Erwin. “There’s nobody. You?

He can feel Erwin tense beside him and glances at him. Erwin’s white as a sheet and his jaw is so tight his teeth snap together. “Hanji, how often is this list updated?”

“Twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night.”

“So if someone’s name isn’t crossed out, then…”

“They’re definitely alive,” Hanji finishes brightly.

“I need you to take me to someone.”

“Sure…” Hanji says, sounding stunned. They eye Levi questioningly, but he just shrugs his shoulders. He had no idea that there was anyone else in the world for Erwin. He had thought it was the one area where they were equal, and it stings to think that they’re not. Either way, he silently follows Erwin’s long, near frantic strides towards a small apartment complex.

Erwin bangs on one of the doors, quick and loud, and Levi opens his mouth to question him. But before the words come out the door opens, and an older woman peaks out from behind it. She’s beautiful, wrinkles delicately lining her face. Her blonde hair is streaked with grey and elegantly swept up with a silver clip. What strikes Levi the most, however, is her eyes. They’re the same bright, cold blue as Erwin’s. Realization hits Levi like a truck, and he can’t help but feel foolish for not putting the pieces together earlier.

“Hi, Mom,” Erwin says, voice thick, and that’s all it takes for Ingrid Smith to reach out and wrap her arms around her son.

*

Erwin’s mother is everything Levi would have expected her to be: polite, charming, and in possession of some incredibly fine silverware. If Levi felt awkward before, he’s practically crawling out of his skin by the time he’s seated at Ingrid’s frilly yellow kitchen table. He sits stock-still, hands folded in his lap and eyes cast down as Erwin and his mother catch up. Erwin tells her an admittedly edited version of he and Levi’s life for the last few months while Ingrid cooks and looks at him as if he’s a gift from God. Though he hates it, a part of Levi feels jealousy burning in his chest; God knows nobody’s ever looked at him like that.

“What about you, Levi?”

He jumps at the sound of his name. “What about me?”

“What was it like for you before … all this?”

“Oh.” Levi shoots Erwin a look, but his expression is purposely neutral. “I, uh. It was nothing special.”

“No family, then?”

Isabel’s voice echoes in his head, calling his name. “No. Definitely no family.”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to stay here for as long as you’d like,” Ingrid says, reaching across the table to lay her palm over Levi’s hand.

“Thank you.” It’s hard to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. Across the table, Erwin is positively glowing.

After dinner Levi helps Ingrid clean up, keeps his eyes on scrubbing to avoid the way she is curiously watching him. He’s never been involved with anyone, certainly not enough for the whole “meet the family” routine. He feels like he’s performing a play he’s never read the lines for. But Ingrid never grills Levi the way he expects her to, the way he knows she wants to. She simply shows them to the spare room and leaves them to their own devices.

The first thing Levi does is shower. It’s a blessing to wash off almost half a year’s worth of dirt and blood. After almost an hour Levi steps out feeling better than he has in a long time, though it’s more than a little odd wearing Erwin’s old clothes. Erwin’s university sweatshirt dwarfs him and it’s a miracle he can keep the borrowed shorts from falling off. “You’re doing a shitawful job keeping that smirk off your face,” he notes as he steps back into the bedroom.

“I didn’t say a word,” Erwin says from his spot on the bed.

“You didn’t have to.”

“If it makes you feel better, my mother left you a present.”

“Oh?” Levi quirks an eyebrow before he catches sight of the red leather book sitting on the bed. He grins, feeling vicious. “ _Oh_.”

Erwin rolls his eyes at Levi’s glee as he jumps into bed. “You two are going to be the death of me.”

Levi ignores him, choosing to flip through Erwin’s high school yearbook instead of replying. It’s every bit the trainwreck he would have expected, and he makes a mental note to thank Mrs. Smith profusely for the beautiful gift she’s given him. “I still can’t believe you have a mother,” he says finally.

“Where did you think I came from? A split from a single-cell organism?”

“Knowing you like I do, nothing would surprise me.” Erwin throws his head back and laughs. It’s infectious, and Levi finds himself smiling as he adds, “you never talked about her, so I just thought…”

Some of the mirth leaves Erwin’s face. “So did I. I’ve had years to process my father’s death, but this would have been something completely different. Saying out loud what I thought happened to her--that would have made it real. I couldn’t bear that.”

Without thinking about it, Levi slides closer to Erwin, pressing against his side.  Erwin lifts his arm to accommodate him, sliding his palm under Levi’s shirt to rub his back. “Why am I not surprised you were a mathlete?” He continues, unperturbed.

“You’re enjoying this far too much.”

“Oh, my god. You’re wearing tweed. You are literally wearing tweed. I’m never letting you live this down.”

Erwin reaches over and gently plucks the photobook from Levi’s hands, expression exasperated and hopelessly fond. “I think that’s enough for now.” Before Levi can question him, Erwin is gently pushing him onto his back and crawling on top of him.

Levi stares at him in disbelief. “You really want to do this in your mother’s house?”

“She’s a heavy sleeper. Besides, don’t you want to take advantage of the first clean, safe place we’ve been in since the outbreak started?”

Fire blooms under Levi’s skin, a mix of anxiety and excitement humming in his veins. He can count on one hand the number of times he’s been in this position, and it’s never been like this, apocalypse notwithstanding. It’s never been this intimate, never with someone who looks at Levi like he’s the world. “I might,” he answers finally, swallowing thickly. “Think you can persuade me?”

Erwin smiles, and the gesture is all teeth. “Only one way to find out.”

*

In the morning, Levi untangles himself from Erwin’s arms and gets out of bed. The sun hurts his eyes, it’s way too hot for Erwin’s gross cuddling, and there are even birds singing somewhere in the distance. It’s ridiculous compared to the life they’ve been living for the last couple of months. The worst part is that Levi can’t even bring himself to be annoyed, especially not when he sees how the lines on Erwin’s face have relaxed in his sleep. He reaches out to gently brush away a lock of hair from Erwin’s forehead, chest tight and cheeks warm. It takes more energy than it should to get dressed and head into the kitchen.

Ingrid is waiting for him when he finally does, a mug in her manicured hands. “Oh, you’re awake. I’ve made breakfast, if you’re hungry.”

Levi eyes the kitchen table, palms itching. It’s absurd, really: Levi has survived the literal apocalypse, fought off armies of the undead, and walked away mostly intact, yet what truly scares him is eating alone with Erwin’s mother. “Yeah, all right.”

She smiles at him and gets up to pour him a cup of tea. “I want to thank you, for looking after my son. For bringing him back to me.”

The gratitude makes Levi fidget uncomfortably. “It’s no big deal. We looked out for each other, so.”

“What will you do now?”

“The deal was that we’d stick together until we found a place to settle down and then we’d split up.”

“Is that what you want?”

Levi looks at his hands. “I don’t know,” he admits, but as soon as he says the words he realizes they’re not true.

Ingrid smiles,  expression soft and understanding. “Why not stay for a while to figure things out?”

“Sure,” he says. “Why not.”

It’s not long before a routine develops. Levi wakes up early in the morning and has tea with Erwin’s mother. Later, she cooks breakfast and Levi takes the extraordinarily difficult task of waking Erwin up. Eventually they eat and both part ways to do various work throughout the compound. By sunset, they come home and Erwin cooks dinner with Levi cleaning up after. Afterwards, they go to bed, which usually involves Erwin reviewing the day’s news or mission plans until Levi throws his papers and reminds him there are better things to do in bed. It’s disturbingly normal, and Levi is actually happy, which is how he should have known it was all destined to go to hell.

*

Eventually their luck runs out. One moment, Erwin is at Levi’s side during a supply run, and then next his arm--his shooting arm, _fuck_ \--is caught between a snapper’s jaws. Fury overtakes Levi and he rips the creature of Erwin, beats it until there’s nothing but slimey red paste and broken bones. Hanji and Petra are on both sides of Erwin, carefully leading him out of the supermarket and back to the Jeep. Levi follows behind them, pulse hammering, and all but shoves Hanji out of the way to crouch by Erwin’s side. His eyes fall on Erwin’s bitten arm before looking up to meet his gaze.

Erwin looks at him, and says “do it” with steel in his eyes, and Levi doesn’t pause for even a second before he chops off the injured limb. Petra is screaming, Levi registers vaguely, but all he can think about is stifling the bleeding of Erwin’s shoulder. Blood is everywhere, all over Levi’s hands and clothes, and nothing in his life has prepared Levi for this. The ground pounds under them as they drive back to the compound and time loses all flow.

They bring Erwin to an empty room in their homemade hospital, and Hanji hands Levi his gun with their eyes firmly focused on the floor. Levi takes it, though he has no plans on using it. If Erwin doesn’t leave this room, neither will he. He locks the door behind him, pulls a chair over to Erwin’s cot, and waits.

It takes three days for Erwin to finally open his eyes. Levi’s breath catches in his chest at the familiar sight of sky blue rather than sickly amber. He’s not infected; they caught it in time.

“I look that bad, huh?” Erwin croaks, a weak smile on his lips.

Levi closes his eyes against the tears threatening to spill over. “You’ve looked worse,” he says finally.

Erwin laughs, a wretched sound stuck in his chest. His skin is pale, his eyes dull, and he still looks like he could die at any minute. Levi clutches his remaining hand, as if he can anchor Erwin to the ratty cot. He’s pulled Erwin from the jaws of death before; he can do it again, if he has to.  

Erwin squeezes back. He’s strong, stronger than anyone Levi’s met. He’ll be fine, because he has to be fine. Erwin is something certain in an uncertain world. Levi believes in him the way he believes the sun will continue to rise and the earth will continue to spin.

Slivers of dawn pass through the cracks in the boarded windows. Even in hell, life goes on.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are very appreciated. you can also find me @ erwinsmiths dot tumblr dot com!


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